You Are Not Behind—You’re Becoming

We live in a culture that romanticizes the hustle and idolizes the image of the person who has it “all together.” But what if I told you that you’re not behind, broken, or lazy? What if you’re just becoming?

Not becoming someone else—but becoming you. The fullest, softest, strongest version of yourself.

And becoming takes time. It takes rest. It takes compassion. It takes unlearning everything you were told about your worth being tied to your appearance or productivity. This blog is a reminder that your value isn’t conditional—and you don’t have to earn your right to rest, joy, or peace.

Part 1: Rest Is a Revolutionary Act

We’ve been sold the lie that being busy means being important. That if your calendar isn’t overflowing, your life must be empty. But let me ask you: How many times have you overcommitted because you were afraid to seem unproductive?

Real rest—the kind that restores your soul—isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.

Rest is how you reclaim your body from burnout.

Rest is how you reconnect with your purpose.

Rest is how you resist a world that wants you depleted.

“Rest is built into your grace. God rested. You can too.”

— Kay Johnson, Episode 20

Rest is not the reward for finishing your to-do list. Rest is the ground from which everything else should grow. And if you struggle to rest without guilt, you're not alone. Guilt is the echo of a culture that told you your value is in your output. But every time you choose rest, you're rewriting that story.

Try This:

Build micro-rest into your day. Pause. Breathe. Step outside. Listen to your favorite song. Take a nap without apologizing. Start small—but start.

Part 2: You Are Not a Project—You Are a Person

Too often, we relate to ourselves like we're broken puzzles that need fixing. We look in the mirror and catalog every flaw. Every inch we wish looked different. Every part we’ve been taught not to love.

But your body is not a problem to solve—it’s a home to return to.

Maybe you’ve battled with your appearance. Maybe you’ve heard things said about your skin, your hair, your weight, your shape—things that became internal beliefs. Things that turned into quiet wars waged inside your own mind.

And yet, your body still shows up for you. It still breathes, moves, holds your grief, your joy, your sacred becoming.

“My goal is to be a better friend to myself. To speak to myself the way I would speak to a baby—with gentleness.”

— Kay Johnson, Episode 19

Self-compassion isn’t indulgence. It’s survival. It’s saying, “I choose to love myself—even here, even now.”

Try This:

Stand in front of the mirror. Name three things about your body that have nothing to do with appearance. Think about what your body does for you: Does it allow you to dance? To hug your loved ones? To sing? To walk through nature? Celebrate that.

Part 3: Creativity Is Healing

Healing isn’t always a quiet reflection. Sometimes it’s loud. Messy. Colorful. Dance-filled. Healing can look like choreographing a freestyle routine in your kitchen. Like singing with your whole chest in the shower. Like drawing even when it’s “bad.” Like putting on that lipstick that makes you feel like you again.

Creative play isn’t about performance. It’s about expression.

“Sometimes, I just need to color. Sometimes, I just need to dance. That’s what brings me back to myself.”

— Kay Johnson, Episode 19

We are all creators because we are all created. You don’t have to be a professional artist to create art. You don’t have to be a trained dancer to move your body joyfully. You don’t need anyone’s permission to express yourself.

Try This:

Pick one form of creative expression you used to love—or always wanted to try. Commit 10 minutes this week to doing it, just for yourself. Not for likes. Not for validation. Just to feel alive.

Part 4: The Power of Boundaries and Saying No

High-achieving women often struggle with one word: No.

We say yes because we care. Because we want to help. Because we want others to succeed. But every yes to someone else can be a no to yourself. And when you constantly put others first, you lose the time, energy, and clarity to honor your own path.

“Energy has a budget. When you say yes to one thing, you’re saying no to something else. Let your ‘yes’ be honest.”

— Kay Johnson, Episode 20

You are not selfish for protecting your peace.

You are not rude for honoring your capacity.

You are not mean for declining invitations that deplete you.

You’re wise. And you’re allowed to evolve your boundaries as you grow.

Try This:

Ask yourself: Is this yes coming from love—or from fear? If it’s fear of disappointing someone, practice pausing before committing. Let your boundary be a form of self-respect.

Final Thoughts: Rest Is Not Laziness. Rest Is Power.

You don’t have to do more to be more.

You don’t have to fix your body to love it.

You don’t have to stay busy to be worthy.

You are not behind—you are becoming.

So take a breath. A nap. A long walk without your phone. Say yes to rest. Say yes to compassion. Say yes to becoming, even if it takes time.

Because every step you take toward wholeness is a radical act of self-love.

🎧 Inspired by two deeply honest conversations on the “At Your Best with Roselynn Onah” podcast featuring Kay Johnson:

• Episode 19: Body Talk: Reconnecting with Your Reflection Through Self-Compassion

  
  

• Episode 20: Radical Rest, Real Confidence: A Self-Care Ritual for Women Who Pour Into Everyone But Themselves